One of the most offensive things about the claim that “kinksters can’t help their kinks; they’re born that way” is that it is absolutely, completely, perfectly aligned with and in agreement with patriarchal beliefs about gender. The great majority of doms are male and most subs are female, so if we are to accept the kinksters’ way of thinking, then we must believe that men are naturally more dominant than women and women are naturally more submissive than men. That women enjoy being dominated by men because it’s in their nature to be dominated. That women can’t choose to not subordinate themselves because it’s who they are.
It’s a bunch of regressive, misogynistic bullshit that feminists have been fighting against for decades, and I’m not buying it.